One of my very first memories was back in 1969.
The year my baby sister was born.
I remember my Mom being very pregnant.
Back then woman were confined to their homes because
they did not want to be seen in that condition .
My Mom was no exception.
One day we were out of some sort of grocery at home, and she could not wait for Dad to get home.
So she and I had to walk down to the closest convenient store.
She put on this large, large long coat.
I remembered how she fussed over being noticed by others in her obvious condition.
It was simply unheard of in her world. It made her uncomfortable.
Fast forward 15 years later, she was in her fifties.
And going through her change. Menopause.
I am at that age now that she was then, and am still waiting for my menopause to start.
Nothing has changed....I am still the same ol' Diane.
Anyway, let's get back to Mom.
She was going through a soul searching period. A quiet phase.
She tried new recipes, she experimented with make-up. She dated frequently.
She talked. And she talked. I listened.
I remember hours spent at the kitchen table, we would talk for hours,
well into the wee hours of the night.
She would say to me, be your own woman Diane. Stay true to that.
Live off the land and learn off life.
Now that I am in my 50's, I see she was right. I do see life differently.
I see now what she saw then.
When you get to your 50's you evaluate your life.
You dissect what you did in the past.
Then you shape and form it to establish it's meaning, and what effect it had on you.
And how it effects you today. What you learned from it.
I don't try new recipes, but I read more frequently now. Things that I was never interested in before.
I do not experiment with make-up, but I live and eat more healthy.
I date some, maybe less now than before. However, I am little more choosier now than before.
I remember a guy I dated a few years back, the first time he mentioned having children
I ran so fast for the hills and never looked back. Love kids, but my time for raising babies are over.
I'm ready for grandchildren now.
Never dated him again. Too bad because he was rather handsome!
Among one of many topics Mom discussed, was what happens to you when you die.
She was raised Christian with Christian beliefs, but now had a new, different theory.
That when we die, we keep coming back until we are perfect enough to get into heaven.
I do believe this is a Buddhism or similar religion belief.
She said that if you have or feel an extreme connection to something or someplace,
chances are you were connected at one time. In another life perhaps.
Based on Mom's theory, I would guess I have come back a few times.
I think I was a slave that died in the late 1800's.
I believe I died on the Titanic.
And I also died on the fields of WWII.
Do I believe in ghosts. I'm not really sure.
I mean really, anything is possible in this big old world.
But it is hard to believe in something you can not see. Something you can not touch.
But I suppose it is just as doable as feeling a reincarnation connection.
Interesting what you think of when you hit your 50's.
Or maybe it is just me. Maybe I am just weird!
Ahh....the ramblings of a dateless, makeup-less, soul searching reincarnated woman!